John McMillan

John McMillan is a hobo. He is beautiful, but only on the inside. He is gross, and repels women instantly, like an easy bake oven, just not as hot. He is a massuese, but gets no buisness because who wants a massage from a chick reppellant?!

Description
John McMillan is bald. He has a long, french, curly mustache. He has a white shirt and torn jeans. He has 72-year-old shoes, and they are about to explode, although John McMillan does not know this. He also wears a wristband that reads "girls stay away, or you will die of poisionous fume inhalation". He also smells like poo. John McMillan's farts can destroy a whole galaxy if he has an extra bean burrito for dinner.

History
John McMillan began, is, and always will be a hobo. He spent childhood in the Bob Canoe. After that, he was kidnapped by Isaac to go to Hobopalooza. He spent many years there, until Kirby and Kabby arrived. The two Kirbies save Hobopalooza from a Hobo-stealer, a machine that steals hobos. John McMillan then began Isaac's right-hand hobo. John McMillan left Hobopalooza more often, and was once even Isaac's lawyer after Kabby sued him for no real reason. He utterly failed, because he kept objecting just because John McMillan wanted a cheeseburger. After that, he became friends with Bob, and John McMillan learned he was the 2nd Chosen One of the Fartbow Prophecy, which smells like poopnuggets on a warm, summer sunday afternoon in a desert with nothing but a cup of rotten hot cocoa and noodles with extra blue cheese.